Black in America 2015 

This morning on my hour drive into church a cop stayed behind me for 35 minutes. That was the longest half hour of my life. I started sweating, I got angry then I was just sad. I slowed down and he slowed down, as other cars went around us, he stayed on my ass. I was being racially profiled. I realized, I am in Georgia and I could become ‪SandraBland‬, ‪
Samuel Debose‬ in 5 minutes… Doctoral student or not, I am black first. That is all they see. Finally he made a u turn and left me alone. I’m guessing after I wasn’t speeding for a half hour, and he ran my plates, there was nothing even for him to trump up, so he went on his way. I was angered and sad, at the whole situation but Church took my mind off of it. Welcome to another day black in America. ‪‬ ‪‬What upset me even more later was how this harassment forced me to second guess and victim blame myself! In the moment the cop won, intimidation is meant to make the victim nervous, scared, and panicked, that is exactly what happened. Even though I knew I had done nothing wrong, or anything to deserve being followed for 30 minutes, I second guessed myself. The tape of the oppressor whitesplaining started playing in my head:

Well you ARE in a newer car…

Are you sure you signaled…

He must have SOME reason to follow you…

You’re being paranoid, it’s just a coincidence he slowed down when you did instead of passing you like the 5 cars behind him did…

That is what makes me sick to my stomach. white supremacy is so ingrained and we are so indoctrinated as an American society into it that excuses for this racist behavior on the part of this cop started filling my head. That is the insidious nature of how white supremacy works. It is mostly invisible. 

My experience this morning though terrible is so commonplace among people of color that I hesitated to even write this. Every brown or black person has a story like this, or worse. It’s just part of being black in America. 

The way it is. 

The way it has always been

It’s time to stop. 

Black Lives Matter